I left behind

18 Apr

I left behind my mind ,my sanity and my brain

i left behind my thoughts,my dreams and fantasies.

i left behind my concerns,worries and loneliness,

my inner me,my solidity and my own company,

i left behind my writings,my diaries and my poetry,

my ethics ,my morals and my religion,

I left behind my genuineness,my simplicity and kindness..

i left my soul,my transparency and my intuition,

i left behind my heart,emotions and passion,

left my madness,superstitious and my dark side,

left my smile,my laugh,my loyalty

left my calmness,my wisdom,my motherhood inside,

left my instinct

left my craves

my love

my Egypt

my hatred

my loudness and quietness

my aggressiveness and vulnerability

my music,

my money,

my bed

my pillow,

my Quran,

my praying rug,

my Kohl,

i left behind my A plans
and B plans as well…

and just drove away !

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16 Responses to “I left behind”

  1. marooned84 19/04/2009 at 12:15 PM #

    Why? Did the Great Flood come?

  2. Cinderella 20/04/2009 at 6:12 PM #

    yes the great flood came and conquered every aspect of my life..
    i was about to give up and drown with everything welled inside..
    but then again..
    i gave my soul a chance..
    maybe..
    just maybe ..
    I’ll come back afterward to find everything soaking wet..
    but yearning for me..

  3. Brownie 26/04/2009 at 10:04 AM #

    for whom and why?! how u r going to live without them.

  4. Cinderella 26/04/2009 at 3:32 PM #

    I left them already Brownie…I left them and lived (on hold) for a while…

    I’m reluctant to come back… but I am… slowly but steadily…

  5. inas 01/05/2009 at 2:34 PM #

    أحلى سندريللا .. و أحلى من سندريللا الحدوتة الأصلية كمان .. معلش بأكتبلك بالعربى بس أنا بأقول إنتى ها تكونى السبب فى تقوية الإنجليزى بتاعى .. و ثقافتى كمان .. أنا عارفة إن من يوم ما عرفت ماماتك و أنا فيه فى حياتى حاجة ها تتغير .. بس أنا من إيدكو دى لإديكو دى أما نشوف ها تودونى على فيييين ..على فكرة سيبك من حكاية طنط و أبلة دى .. إسكتى مش إحنا طلعنا من مواليد برج واحد وكمان يوم واحد تقريبا .. يعنى أنا أكبر منك بيوم واااحد فقط .. آآآه مشيها يوم واحد الله يخليكى وعموما يا ستى أحلى حاجة ع النت إن كل الفوارق متشالة يعنى تقدرى تقوليلى زى ما يعجبك .. والله أنا سعدت جدا بوجودى هنا و مش ها أمشى ها ألف فى المدونة و أختار الحاجات اللى لفتت نظرى بس ده مش معناه إن الباقى ما لفتش نظرى لكن سبحان الله هى حاجات بتقع عليها العين فبتلاقى حاجة شدتك .. أنا آسفة على التطويل لكن لازم أسيب تعليق على الإدراج ده لو حده و ربنا يستر علشان لغتى الإنجليزية على قدها شوية

  6. inas 01/05/2009 at 2:40 PM #

    سندريللا الجميييلة :

    نسميها حالة تجرد .. أو حالة صدق شديد مع النفس .. أو يمكن تعرية للذات لكن هى فى

    النهاية حالة بتيجى زى ومضة وساعات بتطول شوية للأسف لكن بالتأكيد كلنا بنمر بيها بس

    يارب ما تطول .. جميييل إحساسك و نبض كلامك .. بس يا رب أكون فهمت صح و إلا إيه ..

  7. Knee 02/05/2009 at 11:29 PM #

    I can imagine how leaving all these things and driving away can be such a relief..though not everything you’ve left is a bad thing ..
    Good post :)

  8. Cinderella 03/05/2009 at 9:39 AM #

    ايناس
    هي حالة تجرد و المكان مغلق حتي اشعار اخر :)

    لو كنت كملت ثانية كمان بحياتي كنت هقع
    :)

    انا الحالة قعدت معايا 6 شهور :) بس رجعت تاني لارض الوطن سالمة :)

    انا مبسوطة انك هنا معايا بجد عربي انجليزي ياباني تركي المهم موجودة

    واه فهمتي صح جدا كمان :)

  9. Cinderella 03/05/2009 at 9:41 AM #

    knee
    yeah not everything i left behind is bad .. actually most of it is not bad..
    it is the pressure of being around so many responsiblities and life !

    i had a 6 months off period.. to leave just leave and be selfish shwya.. it was a double weapon period.. i felt alive again .. and i lived .. yet i missed alot from what i left.. but i had to .. so i would gain the energy to go on :)

  10. Heba Khoujah 03/05/2009 at 12:27 PM #

    hey cinderella i’m so happy to found ur blog
    ur mother will drive me crazy soon grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr =((
    you know,throughout the day i still think what has happened and what will happen after that now i’m waiting ANXIOUSLY for the new chapter
    the suspense will kill me soon i swear
    try to help us and tell what will happened because am afraid to die before i know the end of the story
    btw ur style is simple and beautiful, really i enjoyed reading
    i would be a good follow-up to ur blog :P any opposition?

    hint: u so sweet :)

  11. Cinderella 03/05/2009 at 1:18 PM #

    :D well mum is the best in driving others crazy :D we are crazy coz of her !! (kidding dont tell her i said that) :D

    well i will be very happy to see u around :D as for the rest of the story .. i cantttttttttttttttttttttttt :D bs if u read some of my posts here momkeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen t3rfy kam 7aga ;)

    and thank u so muchhhhhh for ur sweet words .. really i’ll be so happy to see u here :D

  12. Salma 04/05/2009 at 3:05 AM #

    kassart el donia marra wa7da?? mesh awe keda :)…let me see u soon ya babe:)

  13. Cinderella 04/05/2009 at 11:56 PM #

    yes babe ;) soon isA

  14. greenearldotcom 09/05/2009 at 7:35 PM #

    Thank you for the nice writing…I have left behind much in my life as
    well, some of it, I thought would kill me and almost did ruin the rest
    of my life, but mostly, I think, I’m stronger for it all.

  15. Cinderella 09/05/2009 at 11:00 PM #

    u r welcome,thank u so much for sharing ..
    so tell me now.. did u return back to what u have left behind..yet?

  16. greenearldotcom 10/05/2009 at 3:33 AM #

    Cinderella: Actually, I should clear this up now, My Hawaii Princes left
    me behind several times, and it would take her about 6 months to get
    her head back together. Each time she would call, and tell me I should find someone else and go on with my own life. Each time I did……

    Each time I did, SHE came back and I let her screw everything I had built. Telling several real nice women who actually may have loved me more, that I had to give her another chance, because of the time we had invested.

    Finally…one day she said it was over, 20 years had gone by, My Vet councilor, I’m sure an old Navy doctor, told me those were shots fired over my bow (those six month trips) should have been seen
    by me, for what they were…red flags. (If the shoe fits Cinderella)

    We have not spoken a word to each other since 1981 and yesterday I woke up dreaming about her, as I laid beside my new wife, who met me in 81 and has stayed and loved, and supported me since then.

    I don’t regret giving her the repeat chances, or me, depending on
    who you talk to maybe…as I loved her with all my heart…but I would
    not hurt the lady laying beside me…Her chances and mine are through.

    The last time she left…I told her to stand back, I was going to start
    burning some bridges and I’m pretty darn sure I burnt them all…

    Hows the song go? “Sometimes love… just ain’t enough.”

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