The Calling

11 Mar

i believe every one of us has his/her own calling in this life ..

the gift that we all strive to keep up ,enjoy and revive our souls with .

i had a vision .. and i knew my vision so well that i was breathing,eating,drinking it .. i knew it so hard that it was carved in my mind and heart..

my vision was : (forgive my spelling and grammatical mistakes)

To live a life that i would leave my hand print in other people’s life,where i would make a drastic change , i want to make a translation center here in Egypt of a kind,where it would provide others with language courses to make them professional that they would start translating all the books all over the world ..and translate our books to other languages ..

and what put me on that track was my volunteer working in Alshanek Ya Balady for Sustainable Development(used to be the language manager there) .. i knew what i wanted so bad that i’d wake up early !! can you believe it ?

but unfortunately i had to give it up and started working in a commercial industrial work .. where i changed ..some for the better and some for the worst for sure ..when am there i feel like a monster who is running everyday everyday for hours and hours to arrive home tired .. useless .. with breadcrumbs that would keep him barely alive ..بجري جري الوحوشفي.. i know for some people i may sound (maa’voara)

i came to the point that i cant recognize myself anymore .. am weary .. am not happy .. am good at what i do but i .. just not happy .. where is my vision? where is my dream?

for the past few years .. i only felt that am achieving something is when someone would come up and tell me that i changed their life ..that i altered it .. that’s when i feel (that’s why am here on this earth) .. and not because of self fulfillment i had that person in my life ..the one that changed it years before ..and am blessed that Allah send me every couple of years someone to do that for me .. to just hold the light so i can move on my way .. others may not have it .. i want to be there for them .. strangers..loved ones .. anyone ..

so now .. that i resigned from my job (thank god) and im home .. (am enjoying my time to the fullest that i am happy) :D

i have an offer now .. that would put me right back in the industrial commercial aggressive life ..i’d be a soft skills trainer (just like i wanted for the past two years) and i’ll get paid really good .. yet ..

it’s not what i want !

this is not MY CALLING …

but is it selfish of me to think like that when im the eldest in my family,and i have to help mum .. to carry the weight off of her? yes it is ..

i dont know what to do right now ..

cause the way i see it ..

if i want to go and fulfil my vision ..

i want to be an english teacher in schools .. for kids !i know it might shock my friends who know me..cause they know that i cant stand children .. and that i make them cry whereever we are and there happened to be children..but that comes from personal bad experience (my sister and brother) then i’ll be a headmaster for the school ..  for starters ..

and from that school i’ll provide the language courses i always wanted .. then i’ll start the translation center i want after raising the enough awarness of the importance of such a center in our lives ..

i know alot of people made the transition but it’s only the other way around .. from teachers to anything else..

and me i want to take it the other way ..

am i crazy?


i dont know ..

am confused cause if am gonna do the teaching thing i doubt that it’s gonna pay as well as the training thing ( the family responsiblity part) that’s where am confused .. i dont wanna fail my mum .. and i cant discuss that with her .. she always sees me (when it comes to my professional life) as a wizard that knows it all ..she always brags about how i got all my jobs without wasta and how proud she is that i didnt need anyone’s hand out to start off my career ..

will i give up on my dream till am on my own? should i wait couple of years to start off with my vision?

i dont know ..

am scared that while working i’ll be miserable and i’ll turn the lives around me to hell (again) ..

or should i be happy that not only am doing something i was striving for for two years but also am being responsible and making someone t3b like my mum happy?

at the end of the day

whatever i decided ..

am sure isA that i’ll go at the upside of thing ,God will always be with me through sending people like friends and family to support and love me ..

my dead line to reply on the training thing is Sunday at 12 pm (HELP!).. but am so confused right now .. that i wrote the word confused more than anything in this post ! GOD i need a dictionary beside me to start synonymous-ing my words !


4 Responses to “The Calling”

  1. ze2red 12/03/2010 at 11:51 AM #

    just checked your post. soft skills is a nice thing to do, you are still on the teaching track :) till one day you can have your school.

    and if you are so much into translation, i checked this post last week, and i guess there are open vacancies for translation, check it out:

  2. gjoez 12/03/2010 at 5:11 PM #

    Hay I might be of help, I know this newly opened nursery.. where they really do need English teachers It is located in Mohandeseen and the nuresery’s name is Ganataan. They give Monntissori way of teaching and I personally know the person behidnd the idea Here is the ad published on facebook.:

    Experienced English teacher is required @ the Nursery please send your CVs to or call 011 411 77 07 ,
    011 999 24 68

  3. gjoez 12/03/2010 at 5:13 PM #

    And by the way,don’t worry about your mom, because she will be happy if you are doing something you love..whatever it is!

  4. Cinderella 16/03/2010 at 3:45 PM #

    thank you girls i applied in both sites :)

    well the think is ya Ze2reda i hate the commercial material world .. where everything is equal to money .. even people ..

    @ Gjoez: i pity my mum .. really .. im supposed to be the responsible one .. but i turned out to be .. not so responsible after all ..

    i hate me

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