An ” OFF ” Day !

5 May

what do you do when words dont help anymore in expressing how you feel?

.. and the vocabulary you know is just too weak and pathetic to transmit what is inside ,

in all the languages you do know !

nothing expresses the million paper cut inside of you ..

you think driving while you’re crying is bad? try driving while you’re crying and you didnt sleep for two days on a high way with a song that breaks your heart into tiny little pieces over and over again..each time the song plays the pieces of your heart breaks into half ..

you are sure wondering then why the hell am listening to the friggin song over and over again “howa ana 3’awyya nakad” ?

well simply my dear .. when a song or two or maybe three captures your heart ,cause they just say exactly what you want to say or how you feel .. you just cant turn them off ,cause when you do you will be hearing your ugly crying voice alone..and you dont want that to happen cause then you may enter in a state of uncontrollable state and you dont want that when you are alone .. and you cant call anyone asking them to pick you up cause you told everyone before that you are joyful and good to go!

and yes it’s true you just have your “off” days .. other than that you are really great .. (i dont believe in the word fine,so if you ever asked me how are you and i replied “Fine” .. then now you know .. AM NOT ! )

well the first song is : Letters from the Sky for Civil Twilight

well that song talks about that inner voice that keeps shouting ” let me Out , am not crazy and you’re not crazy,dont believe what anyone says and believe me .. am you believe your self ” .. now i am asking you .. is that desperate ? or sad?

the second song is : Alice – Cocteau Twins

well that song if you heard it without reading the lyrics you’d be sure it’s not english at all .. but it is ! the grieve in that song is so haunting that after listening to it once .. you wont be able to get it out of your head .. and your eyes may tear..just by imagining how broken hearts human beings feel when they listen to that song ..

the third song is : 9 Crimes – Damien Rice

well that song is .. THE saddest song as they call it .. well i got my interpretation of the song .. it’s like a dialogue between a guy and a girl ..

the song starts by the girl saying .. that it’s the wrong time and the wrong place to be thinking of you (she means when she’s with someone new) .. she feels guilty for being with someone that soon (it’s crime) .. and he begins thinking about her while apologizing that it is the wrong place and time to be thinking of her (he feels that he’s cheating on her when he’s with someone else) .. and that is a small crime ..

and then they both wonder if it’s alright to give away a gun when it’s loaded (they mean that to give away you’re heart when it’s full of grieve,hurt and love for someone else ) ..

they still love each other .. but they just cant be together .. so they are trying to move on but cant help but thinking about how the other might feel .. and how they feel bad for doing so !

that song is so true ! brilliant ! sad !

well i put the links of the songs in the titles but i’ll embed them here as well : )

thank you for reading my so lame depressing post ..

w mngelkomsh f 7aga we7sha !


6 Responses to “An ” OFF ” Day !”

  1. Sherry Emmanuel 05/05/2010 at 1:36 PM #

    Hey Cindy…little chiquittita …

    When I feel this way, I cry in God’s presence and pour out my heart, not in words but in tears and strange sounds that God only understands.

    I lift my eyes up to the sky, ceiling, whatever, and tell Him, “You are the only one who knows how I feel and understands me.” He’s my ”Maker” and the one in control. I tell Him that I trust His love and mercy, that He won’t let me die in grief…

    God heals but it takes time. God’s arms are the only haven and His touch and embrace is the only place for comfort. He listens to all the unsaid words, the fears, the tears and the things inside you don’t know about. He can go to all the dark spots in you that you didn’t even realise were there and light Your whole existence up with peace.

    “Fly once more, like you did before…sing a new song!” Ask God for eagles’ wings and He’ll raise you up above the highest mountains and the roaring seas.

    Hmmm… sorry 4 da sermon, just felt like sharing it!

    • Cinderella 06/05/2010 at 10:17 AM #

      no dont be sorry Sherry :)) and you’re totally right .. i turn to Allah in such a nick of time ..

      thank you for planting a smile in my heart with your love and support :)

  2. Batabeet 05/05/2010 at 2:22 PM #

    :( That’s sad…

    If FINE means Frustrated Insecure Neurotic Emotional, Then I’m FINE ! (Italian Job i guess)

    crying while driving is such a relief… it’s soo painful but we DO enjoy pain sometimes

    try driving while listening to “whiskey Lullaby” some are even worse :D

    may u feel better soon :)

    • Cinderella 06/05/2010 at 10:20 AM #

      is it really sad?
      well yes it is Italian job quote .. well for me fine is much much worse .. it’s a sentence with a lot of the F word in between :D

      well .. we dont enjoy pain it’s like we take pain to another new level of hazardous .. we put ourselves in situations that we might die in .. just to pull our souls from plain pain .. i believe !

      i promise next time i get suicidal i’ll listen to the lullaby :D

      .. am better el7amdolelAllah :))

      thank you batabeeta :)))

  3. Neisy M 07/05/2010 at 12:02 AM #

    Oh Whiskey Lullaby is one of my favorites ,9 crimes as well :)
    Cindy, This one is for you baby :*

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