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A Thought For Food

23 Feb

so, since i forgot my money today and i am hungry. i am willing to share my thoughts for food .. please?

well, as i am approaching to pay for my masters (that’s tomorrow) i cant help but notice that i have went through the contents of the masters just today around 25-30 times since morning maybe? just making sure, that yeah this is it. 


then, it hit me.

i never had a mentor. a guide. a Yoda!

although i actually have asked around 4 people to be my mentors (or mentos since i am hungry) their replies would vary between (no i am busy, or all of you are my sisters, or yes yes sure but never returns an email or a phone call) yay!

then it hit me again!

since education and learning is my motivator and also my passion. i scarcely can remember anyone teaching me anything outside school/training courses. except for few dishes that make taught me how to cook, how to drive, how to walk after leg injury, how to deal with kids and how to make fever go away.

but, i got to teach myself how to put make up (which by the way is a disaster and i blame every makeup guru in the world for it cause they are doing it so awesomely), how to cook literally everything other than the few dishes mama taught me, how to sew (i still suck at it), etc

and i got to learn how to reach a decision (which by the way is not easy when it’s career or educational one given that friends around you are doing their best yes but are as clueless/or not Yod-ish kinda guidance.

yes, i want when i reach the right decision i would see the “light” and hear the angels’ sighs “aaaah” like movies. 

i am as confused as Julia Roberts in Run Away Bride. And i have around 26 hours till i go and pay.

and if Mr. Miyagi came along right about now, i’ll just kungfu panda the hell out of him because it is already too late and i made up my mind already and what the hell.

shut up and give me food already.



Running The Miles

16 Feb

he would wake us up at 6 AM, Friday mornings, with a very comforting voice.

suggesting as if it’s the most original idea in the world,  that we would take the leap out our beds and go run with him in the club before people start waking up.

it would be very cold and we would be covered in piles of clothes. excited and eager to be with him, hugging him for such a wonderful IDEA!

he used to love running. now i look back and wonder if he liked running because of the action or because of the intention behind it.

so, he would start running and he would ask me to hold my sister’s hand because he needs to run a bit faster but he will be running back to us (which he did.. and then he didn’t)

my sister and i would hold each other’s hands tight as if running side by side is not enough to make sure we wont get lost.. and we still hold each other’s hands while running side by side in life.. and as we grew older we knew, that yes! you can get lost even if you are next to each other if you didn’t hold each other’s hand tightly and faithfully.

so, my sister would get tired mid way, and we would stop running waiting for my dad to come back to us. and when he did, i would request that he would carry her on his shoulder. she’s tiny, thin, small and cold!

so he would, and then we would start singing while running. we would sing “1, 2 , 3 we are running, whose shoes should we ruin” and whoever name we chose, need to run faster to avoid having their shoes stepped on.

we would laugh so hard, and i always glance up at my sister to make sure she’s okay. and i would smile knowing she wont get lost when she’s on his shoulders!

I don’t think i ever felt the urge to ask “why not carry me?” , and i am really proud of the selfless kid i used to be. i guess that carried on to now as a curse. but that’s okay, the kid in me is proud of the selfless adult i am now.

I remember, he would always praise how strong my steps would be. i remember i always felt proud that my athletic dad thinks i have strong footsteps! and now i remember, that when i used to run fast my feet would hurt but i would tell myself (don’t let him down now, he just praised your steps) how ironic life could be..

what reminded me of that memory?


I was back home few days ago, and as i was sitting in my ink black old room, i heard a couple of friendly neighborhood dogs barking like they used to back then when i was a kid and thought they are protecting us against all the evil that tries to enter our street.

how magical sounds could be..

how nostalgic memories attached to them are.. 




via Daily Prompt: Sound

A Hateful Dear Diary Post

20 Jan

Dear Diary,
I just met a vicious cry wolf, and realized i lived with him for years. He preyed on my compassion and the tremendous feeling of “need”. 
Dear Diary,
I am in awe for the cry wolf impeccable acting skills. How his eyes would be weary and within a second would be scanning around to check the empathy thermometer towards him.
Dear Diary,

I cant catch my breathe, as if i am drowning on a solid ground. I feel sick to my stomach that will jump start my body inside out. Ill be a master-scene in a gruesome movie with all my organs and my lonely soul worn on my sleeves. All two of them.
Dear Diary,

Im a daughter of an abusive manipulative cry wolf. 
Yours Honestly and Truly,

A strong take no shit fucked up wolf/sheep

Truth about hope #life #lostLove even.. #Nov23 :)

28 Nov

i realized,

false hope is as good as certain hope.

what is the benefit of hope? #Tahrir

It gives you the trail of light when it’s dark,

it makes you breath in the oxygen even when you are in thick air,

adds life to the one you are about to lose..

and most importantly gives you a heart beating sense of tomorrow..


Then,live today,

dream today,

love today..

because you never know if you will be around tomorrow,

then why throw away a chance of reliving your dreams through hope or false hope for that matters?


Hope is faith,

so always..

always keep the faith..

Dear Friend,a letter to you #Friendship101

19 Oct

Dear Old friend/Current friend and future friend,

I’m sure these words will find you well, at least physically well – and maybe a bit rich too-

I came to a realization that I would like to share with you,


I came to realize that am a good human being, that will love you for all that you are,

And for all that you are not,

That I’m one of the greatest friends you will ever have, and you will always remember me for the good I’ve done to you,

i maybe have disappointed you at some occasions, and for that I’m not sorry because i always make it up to you and rise to the next following occasion,

I deserve your trust and respect and not because you casually give it away because I’ve earned it, well and good,

When you talked your pain out, I was there for you with all my being, I was simply there. Sometimes you were too rationally cold, and sometimes we would hug it out and cry,

Well the point of this letter is not to count my good traits, or demean yours… 

I’m here to tell you two things, that i believe you needed/need or will need to know,

1) Am kind, but am not stupid:

Meaning i have a good heart, but my senses and mind work too,

So not because I let you in my life that I don’t read the signs, your eyes, or your actions!

Everything you did or you didn’t do, I know!

I see it in your eyes…

The guilt

The jealousy

The pride in me

Your belief in me

The love

The care

The concern

And the hidden sneaky deed you did,

So don’t confuse between my kindness and good heart to stupidity, please don’t underestimate my intelligence, cause luckily “or maybe unluckily” for you, I’m smart, sometimes I like to claim am “people smart”

i just give you your space, your time, to see. How will you act or react. Or try to redeem yourself.


2) I’m Fine with backstabbing:

YEAP! You read it right; I’m fine with backstabbing, if it will get you ahead,

Win you points on my behalf,

Or gets you rich/popular or loved,

Am fine with it,

But my only condition is,


And that brings the first point in hand,

Don’t deal like i won’t know, because i do know, and i will know.


So next time you plan on backstabbing,

Just give me the heads up, not to run..

But to plant my feet in the ground even firmer to take the hit well..

luckily for you,ive learned not to get shocked in people nor disappointed,

i just don’t like surprises..


Your wise-funny-patient-good friend,



A Very Personal Post!

16 Jul
Today three years ago,
I had a near to death experience( the one with life flashing by kinda experience)
I had a car accident-that accident was on a Thursday and caused 6 October bridge to be blocked for 6 straight hours!-!
you know when we always read that quote that says ” appreciate everyone before they are gone”?
well ive been one of those “everyone” , and because i survived the accident people around me realized how much i meant to them..
maybe it was one of the most difficult days of my life,
but .. I have to admit .. it was one of my favorite ones too!
from that day on,people around made sure to show me how much they love much I mean to them..
I felt so much alive and loved that I was actually grateful for the accident,
and for that..
I want to tell everyone who was in my life then..
thank you!
maybe we are still talking,and maybe sadly we are not,
maybe you are still alive and breathing,and maybe i miss you .. cause you are not,
maybe we went on our separate ways..and maybe we are arguing and fighting all the time..
but I know for sure,
I will always have a place for you in my heart for all the love,
thoughtful kisses,
and sincere tears..
.. thank you for keeping me alive..
I’m grateful our lives intertwined at some point-at this point- 
even if we were parted not on good terms.. for that moment in time,
I cherish you!
I never thought id make it 3 years after the accident and still be alive,
I know god saved me then cause maybe i have still a purpose in life to fulfill,
and everyday in the revolution when i was in egypt i thought maybe god saved me for this day, and my purpose will be fulfilled,
but yet i survive another miracle!
and now i never thought id be where i am now,
I look back and i smile,
and then i look around and i smile even more..
am lucky happy yet to be alive, healthily happily breathing.. 

and that’s me now

P.S: Am lucky too! : )

لا مش هتكلم

28 Feb

لا مش هتكلم لو احنا بنتكلم عشان نثبت من فينا صح ومن فينا غلطان

لا مش هتكلم لو الحوار بدا وكل واحد باني فكرة وبيتصرف علي اساسها من غير سؤال

لا مش هتكلم لو كل كلمة هتتقال هيبقي فيها تلقيح كلام ونظرات من اياهم

لا مش هتكلم لو الحوار بادي بزعيق وخناق 

..وحتة معايرة

لا مش هتكلم لاني تعبت من الكلام




لا مش هتكلم لو الحوار قائم علي لوي الذراع

لا مش هتكلم لان كل كلمة بقولها لازم افسرها لان لاسباب غريبة كلامي بيوصل بشكل ملتوي

لا مش هتكلم لان اما بتكلم كل مرة الحوار بينتهي ب”انا اسفة..حاضر..ايلي تشوفيه..”عشان بس الليلة تعدي والدنيا تمشي

لا مش هتكلم لان الكلام بيعاقب عليه القانون والضمير والعادات والتقاليد

لا مش هتكلم لان الكلام اصبح فاشل



ومع ذلك شكل سكوتي برضه هتحاسب عليه

.علي فكرة ..كتر الكلام من النوع ده ..بيقل المعرفة

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