16th November 2016 – 1:44 PM

25 Dec

You think you know but you dontYou think you cant then you can

It’s that paradox that keeps us moving, waking up everyday, on that hope to be proven otherwise for our own happiness sake, companionship or peace of mind.

That paradox of life, that make us believe that pain might lead to love or heartbreak will have a closure.

We feel incongruence and we glue our puzzles together, hoping the paradox will be in our favor..

Over

And over again

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The Aftermath Of A Nightmare

12 Nov

What if all the conspiracy theories that you denied were the truth? And the truth you believed in were the lies?

What if all the lefts were rights?

And all the rights were wrongs?

What if you found everything you didn’t write down and thought you would remember are written somewhere in a parallel universe waiting to happen?

What if you are actually awake in your dreams and your “daily life” is when you are asleep?

What if all of your dreams were snapshots from your before lives crawling their way up from being buried in your brain?

What if the moon is our original habitat and every month our families there are signaling us to see them through a full circle bright light and we are abandoning them over and over again?

What if all our anxieties are omens from our future self to be careful?

And what if; what we feel in a heartbreak was how death feel like and we are living the afterlife?

And what if there is no love in the world and thats us as corpses imagining THIS feeling so the tomb wouldnt feel so cold?

And what if all the times you felt goosebumps was because your name was said from far away future and past that you never were in and never will live?

Read too fast, Sigh too Slow Kind Of Poem

27 Oct

For the love of life in our heart,

for the love of vivid dreams and the sound waves breaking.

For the love of every breathe taken between crying phases,

For the love of dresses, knee high dresses with summer patterns and all the sand that sneaked in and hid in the pockets,

For the love of the whys and what ifs, for the love of the nos and some of the yeses,

For the love of the maybes and the maybe nots,

And for that one deeper sigh, that extra part that starts when the first one is about to end as if the latter was not enough for your soul to scream why,

For the love of all the sighs in the forgotten dreams and the pain of only ifs,

For the love of the second chances, lost romances and the ones who got away,

For the love of promises, kept promises and been present, and who are here to stay,

For the love of please just leave and let me be on my own sinful wishes,

For the love of every single tear that rolled down in the middle of songs, poems and cello pieces,

For the love of stolen kisses, touches missin, and whispers that make people smile,

For the love of freedom

For the love of freedom my heart

Just end THIS sigh,

Already..

The ugh

22 Oct

Why a no should be justified? Why it always has to follow with “because”?

And why is it that we do say “sorry” when we say no?

Why cant it just be a no? Like a yes is a yes. Why a no cant just be a no?

From where did we get the idea that no is rude? Or we have to be apologetic after it whether we are actually apologetic or not?

That pretentious notion only makes a normal no tastes bitter that we have to sweeten the sentence after it with some unmeant words.

Am 32 and still asking these stupid questions because as a world we live in societies where you always have to be “fine” with everyone, everything and everywhere or else..!

Not Quite My Tempo

17 Oct

Why is it that we settle for friends, lovers, jobs, food, movies, books or even music; that arent “quite our tempo”?

When did we silently agree to just nod and smile and accept them into our lives when we are not the same tempo?

I understand diversity is a blessing, yet the problem arises when we keep these “unlike tempos” around for long.

They basically silently -again- convince you that you are the one that is out of tune -which might be true-but frustrating as it is: THIS IS YOUR OWN TEMPO!

Now, let me ask you this; how long will you keep on tapping to a tempo that is not yours, so many different tempos around you that they overwhelm you and not in a good way?

How long will you keep on listening to these strange to your ears and heart tempos? 

And if you found no other tempo around will you keep clapping till you find something else to clap on or will your own alone tempo suffice, even if just for a while?

Remembering Eat,Pray and Love

3 Jul

Since Elizabeth announced she and the guy she fell for by the end of her journey are seperating and people are going insane.

I guess the last time i was shocked that two people decided to part ways is when my parents did.

And then i grew up -or so i claim- and i got shocked in most of my relationships, no matter the shape or form; relationships arent a gurantee. Marriage isnt a gurantee, promises and vows arent as well.

Feeling safe in a relationship is blissful. But taking that relationship for guranted as eternity is scary and fictional.

Hearts, heads and emotions are so magical and so interesting to be honest! Love starts as a chemical reaction in your head and your mind starts to act accordingly. 

So, you will work hard on your love to make it work, and sometimes you just give up and sometimes if that person is not compling that chemsitry in our head stops! The intensity decreases.

And thats okay!

It is scary, i know but it is okay.

Heartache is not an easy thing to pass. Specially if you have the idea of “this one is gonna last” anchor in your mind. 

Believe it or not, the”love” feeling is not a basic feeling. It is a mix of two feelings! Yeah! I know crazy stuff!!

Well, anyway i can talk aboht that topic forever, so without further ado. Ill share two of my favorite parts of the conversations in the movie and book.

Btw for me in thats my preffered order of thr movie( pray, eat and then love).

——
1) I’m not laughing.” I was actually crying. 

“And please don’t laugh at me now, but I think the reason it’s so hard for me to get over this guy is because I seriously believed David was my soul mate. 

”He probably was. Your problem is you don’t understand what that word means.

People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants.

But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that’s holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake.

But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful.

Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it.

Your problem is, you just can’t let this one go. It’s over, Groceries. 

David’s purpose was to shake you up, drive you out of your marriage that you needed to leave, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light could get in,

make you so desperate and out of control that you had to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master and beat it. 

That was his job, and he did great, but now it’s over.

Problem is, you can’t accept that his relationship had a real short shelf life.

You’re like a dog at the dump, baby – you’re just lickin’ at the empty tin can, trying to get more nutrition out of it.

And if you’re not careful, that can’s gonna get stuck on your snout forever and make your life miserable. So drop it

———

2) “But I love him.”

“So love him.”

“But I miss him.”

“So miss him. Send him some love and light every time you think about him, then drop it.

You’re just afraid to let go of the last bits of David because then you’ll be really alone, and Liz Gilbert is scared to death of what will happen if she’s really alone. But here’s what you gotta understand, Groceries.

If you clear out all that space in your mind that you’re using right now to obsess about this guy, you’ll have a vacuum there, an open spot – a doorway.

And guess what the universe will do with the doorway? It will rush in – God will rush in – and fill you with more love than you ever dreamed. So stop using David to block that door. Let it go.

The Pattern

15 May

You grow up only to realize that the things that you know are only the things you have seen,
You realize you are a cog in the pattern machine,
You fight it growing up swearing you wont be the same

But the fire wont burn away from the flame,
We do what we see because it is only what we know

We get older but the child inside never grow,
Trying to break my patterns and patch up the scars

The struggle is endless between the mud I’m made of and the stars
Trying to stay awake

Aware not to drown

Treading my head above the water

Wearing the heavy world on a crown,
Struggling to keep off the black outs

And meditate all the white in i can endure

Breathing in all the light all that is pure,
Dom dom dom dom

I wonder is it the sound of my heart,

Or the cursed pattern machine

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